For him, her sadness was like sun, beautiful from distance but it hurt too much to come closer.For her what left was insomniac nights, hopes and reality !

Yes, she was badly bruised, broken

With thousand of words hovering in her mind

A sense of  darkness invading her  inside

A feeling that she kept hidden deep inside

Running away from the truth of life

Though was very familiar with the nature's truth

She always made her home full of lies

And  battle to cope with truth

Pretending to live with vanity

 For her clock stuck and so does she

Living the reminiscence everyday was what she did

She, wearing masquerade walks with the crowd

Yes, she smiles, walks and talk as she always did

But something was in her mind that always keeps her abide !!

A  very  happy, prosperous and safe Deepawali  :)

^{Picture courtesy-Google}

^{Love is the bond linking the two individuals who share ionic bond to be stable and become unstable when any external atom (lies) comes in between. Slow poison as a Digoxin (Angel of death). Nagging to death. And then the storm runs out rain. Patience conked out. Hatred persists. Hatred, a very underrated feeling.}

^{P.S- Hatred is blind as well as love.}

Dark  in night when everyone sleeps

I find my feelings awakening with a beep

With night becoming dark

And my feelings growing stauncher.

Every reminiscence flash across my eyes

With the shriveled views from the book of my chronicle

Which I skim every day and night

With the limpid view of the days of laughter that we once shared

With all the unblemished views ,safe in my heart with care

All those reminiscences were mystifying at time

For once who was the reason for my smile was now the reason for my cries.

Unforeseen  Amendment !!

Days changed and so does the night

The days of love and the night of fights

The talk we share and the feeling of care

The time we enjoy and the time full of joy

The late night calls and the early morning joys

Waking up with hazy eyes

With the happiness to meet you again makes me feel bright.

Seeing you in the midst of the classroom and giving you a smile

The fight I go through with my words

And the shy telling everything that my words fail to verbalize

All it seems to be like a beautiful dream ,I never want to awake from

Like a princess I ride through all these thoughts. 

Turning left and right

Remembering your  words not to cry

Smiling , Crying and then again a try ,

a try to smile .

And recollecting all my efforts not to let the droplet of tears to fall

Insane completely with your thoughts

For the love I have for you

Has no limits, no boundaries throughout

Happy being in the past memory show again

Everyday, every hour, every minute and every second.

Now the clock stuck at 3

Yawning and then smiling stupidly

Keeping all my pains deep inside

Hopes keeping me alive all the way

Tossed over, turned off the lights

closed eyes to an awake mind

And regaining all my courage to live without you

By covering every pain with the mask I carry

living corpse with the fake smile

and I dissolve in the crowd again.

scarred mind !!

Ready for the next day

or the next Sleepless Night !!!

P.S- Some feelings never fade. No matter how distant we go,no matter how complicated the life is. 

I don't know what feeling I go through sometimes. Was its you knocking at the doors of my feeling again? Oh how stupid I am. I know I can never stop feeling about you. Still the same dilemma and the same questions I keep asking to myself every next day.

All the times that I spent with you flashes back like a cinema roll everytime. Everything appears so clear with no haziness as if it is the matter of today. Every words said by you echo in my ear. I don't know what makes me to recall all those reminiscences. But I find myself helpless, helpless because I can’t move on from what I feel for you. Each and every touch of yours voyage from my veins and arteries to my heart making me feel your manifestation. The whole shebang around me in the environs and every lone moment we had put together at one side fascinates me but on the other side keep plaguing me. It fascinates me because I fancy to live every moment with you. It haunts me because I am still standing nowhere in this world of veracity. Fatally these memories makes me to describe you more intensely and to know you more intimately. And all I do these days is penning down all those golden memories and keep them safe in my heart so that if one day I do not exist, my words surely will survive even then and maybe someday you will also know the way to my memories home.

Very often when the night calls out, I let my pen ink to flow through my diary, magically penning down all those feelings which spates through my mind and heart after going through the hectic schedule throughout the day. Sometimes I think was I alone responsible for the sufferings I go through everyday. And this question always remains unrequited and I remain unsatisfied with the answers. I remain unsatisfied with the happenings. The distance, the circumstances, the enigma and YOU remains at one side and I find myself at another - all solitude, searching for my unanswered question. Sometimes I deem about the fantasies that I conceive with you in my thoughts everyday. Having so much of fun together. A little bit fight, a lot more of arguments which always end up with a sweet smile. A little bit covetous, a lot more of understanding. A little bit security and a lot more of love. Love which will never fade. Love which will always be safe, safe in the jar of my heart. A hand of yours when I fall, an assurance to make me secure at every step I take and every move I make, a shoulder to lean on and to cry on all my heart and a lap in which I can make the most comfortable sleep. A hand in my hand holding which I can cross the road safely, a hand which will rise everytime to console me and a hand which will hold me everytime proudly and with love. I don't know what is happening with me but these are fantasies, no bond to them.

Totally out of the world!!!

I know reality will be somewhat different from my fantasies. I am doing every possible thing to eradicate these flashbacks and caprice but don't know what makes me to recall all this everytime. I am bashing to set out from it. I am screaming as I can see you in just my fantasies. I am screaming because I know I cannot live these moment .I am crying. I am denying the truth. I am wounded. I am lost. Something always seize me to you and your memoirs .Everytime I try to escape from you, at some point I am always caught by your thoughts. At one point your thoughts gives me strength makes me strong but at other side your memories making me weak. At the end of the day I find myself in solitude even though I am sorrounded by thousands of people.
And I am done. I surrender again !!!

P.S-She never regrets loving you, she regrets forgetting herself in process of loving you . !!!

A dazzling day with fun in its way,I found everything so beautiful all my way.In the haziness of morning fog, I saw a guy coming in black rig. With shining hairs and bright blue eyes. With fading fog and the diminishing distance someone's silhouette took me by surprise.The one for whom I waited so long was now standing here along. 

Totally unexpected !!

I never thought I would find someone so amazing by my side this day.Daffodils flashes my thoughts.I looked into his eyes and all words suddenly started to come out from my heart.I told him everything I have ever thought in my life.In my dreams I breathe him in. I inhale him. I am totally insane for him. Without him I feel as if there's knife in my windpipe,I'm unable to breathe still I fight every single day.I thought these words were enough to describe my feelings. For now I am high and drunk from hate.

P.S- May be we meet again when tornado meets volcano !!!

I wake up with heavy eyes..my mind still full of your thoughts

I look myself and I understood, I have surrendered myself again

I amble with my scruples nagging me to death

And I realised I failed to love myself again.

The day shines on me but I lost interest in my well being

The night sometimes haunted me

And made me realise that I have to live without you

I closed my eyes, I reached out for you

I opened my eyes, I recalled all the memories with you

Everywhere it was YOU..!!

My love so strong for you that you poised my mind and heart every single second

You...a reason of my smile..my happiness...my pleasure..solace.

All this while...the abyss get bigger between me

But all time your memories fill it

Yes I'm addicted..I'm addicted to you

You are my drug..My personal brand of heroin..!!

With you nearby..I feel like I have undergone with high dose of Caffeine and cocaine..

Even if I am in crowd..I find myself alone..

And I go in dream state..as if I have taken a dose of Ketamine..

And I am lost again, lost from my own existence

I call myself a lover..

Unconditionally..inescapable..truly..madly..completely.

P.S - Caffeine, Cocaine and Ketamine are the name of drugs.

With a morning breeze snuggling him, he got a feel of her being closer. Bright sunlight infringed his catnap but he kept dreaming. Her long hairs, shuttered eyes, smiling face cuddled him childishly in his fantasy.With his every moves, with his every breathe, keeping her in all his place, loving her in all ways.

P.S- My first 55 fiction !!!

She asked for someone who could stand by her side in her solitude run , she  found him alongside at every turn

She asked for a true companion , she found him true to her like a canyon

She was afraid of the world , she found him holding her hands for making her feel safe till ad-infinitum

She asked for glee , she found thee always

She asked for life , she got thy love

She asked for time , she got his 24*7 

She asked for world , she found her world in him

She asked for someone who cares , she got a sincere care from him

She asked for someone who could understand her completely , she got keen poignant stanchion from him

Then all of sudden something changed everything in her life

All her happiness gone in vain

All she got was just pain

She thought that he will be by her side always  but now  he is also gone

She took him be her true companion  but now when she needs him the most, he is not with her in run

Now, she is even afraid from her life , she lost her love

She cried in pain pouring all her feelings like rain

She asked for time to explain  but what she got is just ignorance

She just asked for happiness  but she was left solitude

She asked just for little care  but all she got is deep hurt from him

She asked if someone can understand her  and then she got only 

misunderstanding prevailed against her

She asked for his love , she got refusal

Though he is gone

She still  loves him

She still has not stopped to think about him

She still has not forgot the beautiful time with him

She still has not forgot  "HIM"

The most important is only HIM

She is still waiting for him to be her' s forever !!

P.S- Girl ,the most beautiful creation of god. Respect her emotions. Though sometimes she fails to show her emotions but if one day she lost her patience of hiding her emotions..she will surely drenched with tears..

love..that intensify every single day..

love..that doesn't need  any  reason to explain anything..

love  that is sacrificing..

love  that is caring..

love..that makes them fight with each other..

love..that makes them to stop argue even when they know who is right..

love..that makes them to  trust each other blindly..

love..that is pure...

love..that is just for  YOU....

love..that is eternal..

P.S-for  love  month, FEBRUARY..for  every  love  birds..love  is  in air..VALENTINE  WEEK..

This enthralling feeling which was following a sinuous trail through me by the thoughts of getting a bit close to you then earlier, was taking every single breath of mine. My soul was engrossed with all your thoughts. That was amazing feeling I could ever have. Only thing I can feel  ubiquitously was just you and only you. My whole journey was passing by reminisce of all the beautiful past, the beautiful memories and all I can sum up was you, everywhere it was you!!

I gazed outside to feel the nature's beauty. Everything was now making me ecstatic. I can feel inside me the excitement of seeing you after a long time. I dream all about you that night, even I’m a day dreamer. My patience to be away from you has left me somewhere and now I am unable to persist myself from being away from the thoughts of yours. Knowing that it's just not the distance that keep us apart but the intimacy somewhere has also weaken. We cannot meet now and even if we did met somewhere, it would be such an awkward moment for both of us I guess. I know it's not that our love has left us, but it's only nothing is left for our love to long last .May be distance is one of the prevalent reason. I know my love is so pure that today also I wake up with all your feelings in morning and end up going to bed at night with your thoughts.

Yes..Yes my love ..it's just that our chemistry has weaken..not our love, it's just that time has changed, it's not our love that changed, it's just the places are different where we live in..not the meaning of love has become different for both of us...and it's just the distance and the confusion that has kept us so far..still we are closer by heart...knowingly or unknowingly and it's due to our love which subsist somewhere deep inside .You are my soul my love. And a body cannot subsist without a soul. In the same way I can't be complete without you in my life.

With the glimpse of your smile, I can feel my happiness growing. With the childish talks of yours, I feel I can live my childhood days again. With the maturity in you for me, I can feel my dad's care for me. With the aggression in you, I can see a deep caring lover. With your sadness, I find myself sad. With the pain that you have in your life, I wish if I could have each of them in my part..and just happiness can accost you. I sometimes feel to give all mine to you and to take one thing from you in return and that's only you,you forever.

Though I know congregating with you this time is also not possible still it is said that with hopes life sustain. My love, with the feeling of being a bit closer to you engrossed my feeling, doesn't matter even if it's just by distance. I can persuade myself by the distance close to you.

I deem words would be very less to elucidate my love for you. Even if I put my heart to you, my love for you won't be effusively expressed. Because for you my love is incessant ineffable.

P.S-There are times when the people in love can't be together even if they love each other truly. But that doesn't mean that's not love. It's just meant that..it's not correct time to be together. So wait...wait for your time. Because if your love is true, it will surely reach the destination..:)

Days passes somehow...

And night takes me to the past memories show...

Every new day starts with new mesmerising thoughts...

With you in my dreams I find myself flying across...

Knowing that you are far away...

Keeps breaking me every single day...

Deep inside it hurts so bad...

It become difficult to tell you that...

Sometimes I become so helpless...

That not even my feelings for you become nevertheless...

Plonking all my effort..

All my feelings I have now put in graveyard...

So that now atleast my feelings rest in peace...

Though I know you will never be back again...

But hopes still keeps hovering in my brain...

Now when I know you are gone...

It's too hard for me to move on...

P.S-my love for you is still eternal....